Once Upon A Torchwood
by tripthelight-x
Summary: A collection of random one-shots, centred around the many different events and goings-on in Torchwood. Mainly based around Jack and Ianto, with a few exceptions. Spoilers for series 1&2. Currently rated for occasional language.
1. Arguments

_Welcome to Once Upon A Torchwood! Woohoo! Basically, I have so many random ideas floating around in my brain I wanted a place where they could all be kept together. The fics will have no reason or rhyme to them, and will not be in any sort of order. Just random-y goodness (I hope)._

_There will be spoilers for all series at some point, and I probably won't specify on the fics which spoilers are included. Ye be warned._

_Reviews, as always, are vey much appreciated._

_Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine. Actually, even that probably isn't entirely mine. There are only 7 stories in Hollywood and all that jazz (Or is it 8?)..._

* * *

The mood in the Hub had been getting gradually worse all week.

There was nothing to do, and what had started off as a nice break had now turned into The Longest Week Ever. The weather was atrocious, even for Wales. It had been raining now for 96 hours solidly and it had gotten to the stage where people had given up with umbrellas as it was impossible to keep dry. The whole city felt depressed. Inside Torchwood, it was even worse.

Jack and Gwen kept snapping at each other, Jack and Gwen kept snapping at Ianto (who, incidentally, was the only one apparently not going mad), Gwen had started answering her phone with "What?" and, not surprisingly, the number of calls she received decreased as the week went on. This started a whole new episode about being even more bored, because now no-one wanted to speak to her. When Jack had suggested, very sarcastically, that it might be to do with the way she spoke to people, a new argument escalated.

Ianto, meanwhile, was trying his best not to succumb to the depressing mood which had taken over. He spoke politely to his team mates, even when they were less than courteous to him, carried out all his jobs without complaining, even when Jack gave him some of Tosh and Owen's left over paperwork to finish. However, he could feel his temper building up, and knew it was only a short space of time until he snapped at someone.

The aforementioned snapping took place on the Friday of The Longest Week Ever. Ianto had left the Hub early to go and see his sister, her husband and their daughter. He hadn't seen them in a month as work had claimed all of his spare time, and then some. He didn't tell the others where he was going; he didn't see why he needed to. It was his time and he could do what he liked with it.

Jack, however, was not used to Ianto leaving without telling him where he was going or taking him along. Therefore, he decided to be suspicious. Decided being the operative word. Jack was not and could not be naturally suspicious of Ianto; he trusted him implicitly. Nevertheless, the week had built up on Jack and he decided, in his pessimistic state, Ianto must be doing something suspicious.

This reasoning allowed Jack to think it was perfectly rational to follow Ianto after he had left the Hub.

He followed Ianto's car in the SUV through the unfamiliar roads and estates, through the rain, making up all kinds of theories in his head, each more far-fetched and ridiculous as the last. After a while, Ianto pulled up outside a house on a little cul-de-sac.

Jack waited for him to get out of his car.

Ianto eventually climbed out of his car, but instead of walking to any houses, he strode straight towards the SUV. Jack thought Ianto looked surprisingly calm.

As Ianto approached the car Jack got out.

"What are you doing?" Jack asked him, the calm look melted from Ianto's face,

"What am I doing? What are YOU doing? Following me and thinking I wouldn't notice? Look at the car you drive Jack, it's not exactly suitable for espionage."

"You didn't answer me, what are you doing here?" Jack was trying to remain composed, but he knew he was wrong.

"What right do you have to be suspicious of me? Maybe I was just trying to get away from yours and Gwen's incessant arguing."

He was raging mad now. The anger which had been building up had finally spilled over. They stood, soaking wet from the downpour glaring at each other. Jack didn't really know what he was glaring for, but he was wet now and in the wrong, so he was angry again.

"Ianto?" a voice said,"What are you standing out here for? It's chucking it down. Come inside."

A young woman, not yet 30, with dark curly hair was standing on a driveway holding a huge golf umbrella.

"Two seconds." He called back, not breaking eye-contact with Jack.

"Who's' that?" Jack asked, still glaring.

Ianto ignored his questioned, "I'm going inside now. You need to go." He turned and walked away, towards where his sister stood holding the umbrella. He never looked back at Jack.

----

On the drive back to the Hub, Jack was, once again, formulating ideas. Who she was, how Ianto knew her, how often he saw her. He ignored the voice in his head telling him he was being childish and ridiculous.

When he got back, he saw Gwen had already left. This was unusual since Tosh and Owen had died, she usually liked to say "goodnight", just in case they never saw each other again. But with the way the week had gone, it wasn't surprising.

When Ianto left his sister's house a few hours later he didn't know where to go. The angry part of him wanted to go home and forget about Jack completely, but the calmer side, which was now winning after being around his family, wanted to go and say sorry.

Jack himself was sat in the chair, in his office where he had been for the last 3 hours. His head was leaned back over the chair and his feet were on his desk. He desperately wanted to call Ianto but was certain the call would be ignored. He needed to apologise, when Jack thought about what he'd done, he felt a knot tighten in his stomach.

He heard his office door open and Jack quickly looked up, a motion that would've jarred any lesser mortal's neck.

Ianto walked in and sat on the edge of Jack's desk, not looking at him. He shifted some of the paperwork into a pile before looking at the older man.

Jack looked at him apprehensively. Ianto smiled back.

Jack then grabbed the Welshman's arms and pulled him onto his lap. Ianto rested his head on Jack's shoulder and sighed.

"I'm sorry if I was an idiot." Jack said,

"Yes, you were." Ianto replied, before adding, "She's my sister."

"What?" Jack sounded confused,

"The woman at the house? That's my sister, Rhiannon. I went to see her and my niece."

"Oh." Jack felt even more abashed now.

"Don't worry about it. You couldn't help being a tosser."

And for the first time since The Longest Week Ever had begun, Jack actually smiled.

_

* * *

_

Hmmm...This isn't my usual writing style. This story feels all strange. I quite like it though. I love a good confrontation in the rain.

_Please review!!!_


	2. Psychic Training

_Just a little bit of pointless fluff, which has been floating around my head for a while now. The idea got stuck in my head after watching Doctor Who (Army of Ghosts and Doomsday), and the man with the sphere says all Torchwood One staff have basic psychic training. An innocent idea kind of mutated into some random fluffiness which demanded to be relieved from the confines of my over-crowded brain._

_Disclaimer – If I owned the BBC, CoE would never have made it onto TV. It was just one huge piece of fail (in my opinion, that is)..._

_---------------------_

All Torchwood One staff had basic psychic training. No-one had really ever understood why, but it was insisted upon. There had been rumours about mind-control, but Ms. Hartman soon put a stop to those. Anna from Finance had heard from Michelle in PR who had gone for a drink with this bloke from one of the departments no-one was supposed to know about, that it was because the famous 'Doctor' could read minds, and the training stopped him doing it. She didn't believe it though.

As far as anyone knew, no one had ever used their "psychic training", although it was tested every few months, just to make sure it was working.

Some of the staff could do it more naturally than others, especially if they had a high empathy level. They could sense other people's moods, and could read really basic thoughts. But only if they person they were concentrating on was shouting it in their heads. Not very useful in day-to-day situations.

Ianto had picked it up more easily and more strongly than the others. He could occasionally hear someone's thoughts without them having to mentally shout it. Lisa had asked him out through thinking it really loudly. She didn't have to shout it though, Ianto had been concentrating on her; trying to work out whether she'd reject him if he asked her out, and it had help make her thoughts clearer to him, but only slightly.

Since moving back to Cardiff, the psychic training had worn off almost completely. Ianto never tried to read people's minds anymore, it was too messy. But he could still read people's moods, he'd been fairly good at that before the training anyway.

He could tell when to stay away from Owen (although he tried to do that anyway), when to leave Tosh to carry on with the translation she'd been working on for the last 16 hours, when it was safe to talk to Gwen without the conversation turning to the wedding. He could tell when Jack needed to hold him close so he knew he wasn't alone.

None of them knew he could do it, or at least Ianto didn't think they did.

He did realise, however, that Jack knew some of the things that happened at Torchwood One, and the training was probably one of them. And one day, Jack proved him right.

---------

Nothing much was happening in the Hub. Gwen was sat trying to beat her own solitaire high-score. Owen was dissecting a 1 legged alien they had caught the other day. Tosh and Ianto were sat on the old sofa, discussing something technical that nobody else really understood, or cared about for that matter.

Tosh was talking so quickly Ianto had trouble keeping up, he understood most of it, but she kept using terms or referring to things he had never heard of. Ianto let her talk anyway; he knew it was making her happy.

She was on a particularly technological ramble when Ianto heard Jack call him. He looked up to answer him – but Jack wasn't there.

"So you can hear me then? That's interesting." Ianto looked up again but no-one was there, he was just starting to think he had gone mad when the Welshman saw Jack leaning against his office door grinning.

Tosh had noticed Ianto's lack of contribution to the current conversation, and followed his line of sight to find his distraction. When she saw Jack she sighed, "You better go and see what he wants." Ianto conceded and walked towards Jack.

"Can you hear me?" Jack was mentally shouting, a grin still plastered across his face,

"Yes! Stop bloody shouting!" Ianto said, rubbing his temples. Gwen and Tosh looked at him, confusion and worry clouding their faces. Ianto just shook is head in a dismissive manner.

"I'm sorry." Jack said out loud, although he didn't look sorry at all. "Just seeing whether the rumours were true."

Ianto was now sat on the chair behind Jack's desk, while Jack perched on the edge of the desk itself. "What rumours?"

"That they gave psychic training at Torchwood One."

Ianto raised an eyebrow, "You already knew that was true though."

"I did." Jack agreed, "But your file," he gestured to the open folder on the desk, "says you were the most natural. And that you could read minds. Sort of."

"Sort of. Lots of us could read minds; I could just do it more easily. The thoughts have to be directly aimed at me, and have to be clear. If the person is thinking about other things at the same time, it won't work. The thoughts have to be quite loud too, although you don't have to scream them." He looked at Jack pointedly, rubbing his temples again to emphasise the point. "To be honest, I didn't think I could still do it. It's supposed to kind of wear off if you don't use it."

Jack looked thoughtful for a second. "I wonder if we should start doing it. An extra advantage so to speak. You could teach us." He thought back to Tosh and her mind reading pendant, "Maybe not though."

"It's not very useful. If something is about to attack us, it's hardly going to think about its plan very loudly so we can hear it." Jack nodded, and they sat quietly for a minute. Assuming the conversation was over Ianto got up to leave and find Tosh again. Jack walked over to the door, and once again leant against the doorframe, watching Ianto and Tosh pick up their conversation from where they left off.

Being careful not to shout too loudly, Jack directed another thought at Ianto.

"I love you."

Oh, Jack could think of lots of uses for mind reading... who said psychic training was pointless?

------------------

_Review please!_


	3. It Feels Like Christmas

_A/N : I'm such a bad person! It's been ages since I finished a story, I have lots of ideas, and lots of half finished stories, but they never get finished before I start a new one! I'm going to have to be stricter with myself. _

_Anyway, this is just a short, Christmassy story which I managed to finish. I hope you enjoy it!_

_Merry Christmas to all (even though it's practically over!) and I hope you had a good day with the people you love._

It is the summer of the soul in December  
In all the places you find love  
It feels like Christmas  
It is the season of the heart  
A special time of caring  
The ways of love made clear  
It is the season of the sprit  
The message if we hear it  
Is make it last all year

Muppets Christmas Carol – It Feels Like Christmas

Gwen had been at Torchwood two years when a thought occurred to her.

"Isn't it lucky that it's always quiet on Christmas Day?" She said, one day not long after 25th December had passed.

"Hmm." Ianto agreed, passively. Gwen looked at him questioningly.

"What's that?" Jack asked, stepping from his office towards the workstations where the two were sat.

"Christmas Day. I've been here for two now, and I've never had to come in." She said, a little more sceptically this time.

Jack made the same nonchalant noise Ianto had just seconds before.

"What?" She looked from Jack, back to Ianto. "What does that noise mean?"

"Doesn't mean anything. Just a noise." Jack defended.

"An agreeing noise." Ianto added, nodding.

"Are you trying to tell me, in an evasive, not-lying-but-not-entirely-telling-the-truth, sort of way, that something happened on Christmas Day?"

"A lot of something's happened on Christmas Day, Gwen." Jack smiled, "You'll have to narrow it down for us."

"Ok. I'll simplify it. And I want a yes or no answer. On the 25th December this year, and the previous one for that matter, were you, or were you not, investigating, chasing, or hunting something of alien origin, or even something that you merely thought was of alien origin?" Gwen was becoming slightly irate now.

"Can you see a loophole in that one?" Jack whispered to Ianto.

Ianto shook his head, "Nope. I think she covered everything."

"Ok, then." Jack puffed out his chest, and stood up straight before betraying it all with a sheepish, "Yes."

Gwen nodded her head. "Was it serious?"

"Not reall-" Ianto stopped as he caught Gwen's death-like stare, "Erm, I suppose." He looked at Jack for support.

"You see, Gwen, it wasn't that big of a deal, and we didn't want you to have to come out in the cold. And it only really needed two of us." Jack defended.

"And the year before?" she asked.

"Erm, well, that wasn't even slightly serious. Just a bit of a mishap. Misunderstanding really. Got it under control pretty quick."

Ianto rolled his eyes at Jack's garbled lies.

It was true that the creature from the year before had been operating under a misunderstanding. But one that had cost them 17 hours and almost their lives.

It wasn't even really a creature, just a human from a distant time and planet. The human was bald, with no teeth. It was quite an odd-looking thing, perfectly androgynous, with, apparently, very little knowledge of the English language.

"By the year 3995, only the people educated to the highest degree will learn English properly. Like school French now. You know the alphabet, how to say your name and to tell people you can't speak French, but that's about it; unless you choose to carry on learning it." Jack had explained later on at the Hub.

It had, not long after the human had arrived, become apparent that in the future hair and teeth were seen as offensive and a sign that the owner of such things was a dangerous criminal.

This didn't really make much sense to the four Torchwood operatives (even Jack had never heard of such customs), but as it was, the (surprisingly) bald human had threatened them with something that resembled a machine gun until they made a deal involving 5 rich tea biscuits, Owen's watch and an 80's style space-hopper.

This year had been less surreal, and was becoming somewhat a reoccurring event, but it was still rather dangerous. The infamous blowfish species had, once again, managed to find a hole in the rift, appear in Cardiff, steal a sports car, and shoot someone.

It had, of course, taken a car chase through the streets of Cardiff and a well-aimed bullet to the head from Jack to kill the blowfish. They were getting pretty good at predicting what the fish would do next, so the only injuries sustained had been a few bruises.

"Why, did you not ring me? I would've come."

"Exactly." Jack said, "That's the point."

"It's become sort of an unspoken rule." Ianto explained, "If you have someone at home then you should be allowed to stay with them on Christmas Day. It's so rare that an employee of Torchwood has someone waiting for them at home. You need to hold onto that. Letting you have Christmas Day is our small contribution."

Gwen nodded. She thought about Jack and Ianto, then Tosh and Owen. She thought about Rhys. Then she smiled as she realised everyone got to spend Christmas with someone they loved.

_Hope you enjoyed it! _

_I would love to get reviews as lovely late Crimbo pressies! Please!_

_And if anyone knows where I stole the idea of a deal being made with an 80's style space-hopper, then you are officially awesome! _

_Lots of love, L xxx_


End file.
